Birthday Blues

On July 25 Yah blessed me with another year, I turned 27. While, I've always been one to get excited about my birthday, the last few years have been a little different. The days leading up to my birthday for the last few years have been a bit somber and very nostalgic. I wasn't sure what was bringing about these feelings, but this year I wanted to get in front of my "birthday blues." 

My mother came to LA to visit me and the day before my birthday we created a beautiful periwinkle outfit together. The entire process of designing and sewing was very therapeutic for me, but talking to my mother about the expectations I had for my life vs the reality of it, really put things into perspective for me. I think my "birthday blues" stemmed from the disappointment of my life not looking like what I thought it "should" be. While I am grateful for where I am in life and the things I have accomplished, there is still a cloud that hovers over me at times reminding me of the things that didn't go my way. This year I've tried really hard to be transparent and honest about my feelings, the entire process has been draining but also very forth telling. I feel like my vulnerability has left me taken advantage of a few times, but the peace of knowing I spoke my truth has made up for that. Trust, it wasn't easy dealing with these emotions leading up to my birthday but for my sanity I had to look myself in the mirror and tell myself, "It may not look like you envisioned it to be, but it is ok and you are exactly where you are supposed to be." 

Im not sure if anyone else has had these feelings but if you have below are a few things I came up with to assist you with beating your "birthday blues" or pre-birthday depression:

1. Lower Your Expectations. 

While I do believe it is beneficial to set goals, try not to get to caught up on expectations. Unmet expectations can lead to disappointment, which leads to mood changes, which leads to depression. 

2. Keep Busy. 

Don't wait around for someone else to do something for your birthday. Sitting around the house just gives you an opportunity to mull over the passage of time and be sad. You know what you'd like to do on your birthday, so schedule it! I made sure to get up early and start sewing and before I even knew my mother was coming down I made up my mind that I was going to take a helicopter ride. 

3. Remember All That You Have Accomplished. 

It's easy to gloss over everything that you have accomplished and end up feeling like time has passed with nothing to show for it. Try to focus on the positives because, remember, you are a boss! So prove it to yourself. Go through old pictures of good times (warning: some people may become more depressed doing this, you know who you are), make a list of accomplishments, or even get a friend to remind you of your victories.

Spending time thinking about what you have done will keep you from thinking about all the things you haven't yet accomplished or that you think you should have accomplished. You've already accomplished a lot. Focus on that. Be proud.

4. Don't Wait for Someone Else to Make You Happy.

Remember, no one can read your mind, and no one is perfect. If you're waiting for someone else to make things special, you'll be disappointed. If there's something that will make you happy, then make it happen yourself!

5. Make a Plan to Make This Year Special. 

Make plans for the upcoming year it gives you something to look forward to. 

6. Let Your Friends Know.

While there are many who don't want any attention on their birthday, there are others who make it a point to mention it or who would like to be lavished with attention. That is usually me but this year I didn't even make my typical birthday post. While the not posting wasn't bad, me failing to mention my birthday or giving my friends an opportunity to do something for me was a bad move on my part. You can be coy about it, too: "So I think I might schedule a massage for my birthday next week." That's all it takes. 

7. Know It's Okay to Mourn. 

Sometimes, we just need some time to be sad about what isn't, and what might not be. That's okay. You deserve that process and will feel better afterwards. Let yourself cry about the house that you don't own, the corporate position you haven't landed yet, and the significant other you may not have found yet. Then, get over it. You've got life ahead of you to live—don't waste more time than you need to in worrying about what isn't.

8. Learn From It. 

You may want to punch me in the face for saying so, but know that pain is there to teach you something. Maybe your birthday makes you feel lonely—that's true for many of us. However, you can also use that feeling to help motivate you.


Every time I go to a music festival, I promise myself I will never go to another one-- and what do I do..... Go to another music festival. Last weekend, I went to FYF with my cousin and friends. FYF is short for FU** Yeah Fest and it is an annual three-day music festival held at the Los Angeles Sports Arena & Exposition Park in Los Angeles, California. It was founded by Sean Carlson in 2004 and is produced by Goldenvoice, a subsidiary of AEG Live. The event showcases many genres of music, including rock, indie, electronic, as well as art installations and sculptures. The festival also has its own night market where people can buy food while watching the concerts. Throughout the whole park, four stages host live music. There is the Main Stage, the Lawn, the Arena, and the newest installment of the Woods. While there were hundreds of artist that performed I was most excited to see Missy Elliot, Frank Ocean, and Solange.

What I wore:

Who I saw:

Missy Elliot, Solange, Frank Ocean, Kamiyah, and A Tribe Called Quest

Malibu Black Barbie

This weekend was my friend Laci's birthday and we decided a "staycation" in Malibu would be the perfect get-away. Laci, Natalia, and I stayed in the cutest Airbnb right on the water. We spent the day laughing, singing, and celebrating life. The night on the other hand was spent relaxing to the melodic sounds of the ocean.

Oh and of course a few photo shoots took place, how could I forget that part!

I've been super busy these last few weeks and a bit stressed, so the opportunity to escape for just that brief moment was everything to me. Staying true to self, even though we weren't planning on leaving the Airbnb, I seized the opportunity to dress up in a sheer purple robe made by my mother. Spending the weekend twirling around in my robe, laughing, and cherishing friends was much needed. 




Joshua Tree

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I have a desire to travel but I don't want to venture out too far and forget the beauty in my "backyard" (LA). With that being said, one of my close friends came to visit and I set us up a little staycation in Joshua Tree, CA. If you are familiar with Coachella and the desert like area that occurs, Joshua Tree is in that area. Joshua Tree is AMAZING!! We arrived at night and that wasn't fun because there aren't many street lights or traditional roads however, the Airbnb we stayed at was well lit. The Airbnb was gorgeous, very modern, and decked out with a jacuzzi. Besides natures views and hiking there isn't much to do in Joshua Tree, so we stayed in, drank, danced, and laughed. I would definitely return.